Misery Loves Company

I've been writing a book that has a lot to do with forgiveness. I'm at a chapter that discusses people who are miserable, how they act differently and how they aren't happy unless everyone is miserable right along with them. I couldn't wait to share this epiphany so here goes...

(No worries - the book entry is much different so it will still be fresh)

Misery loves company! I am sure we all know someone who is miserable in life. The sad thing for these folks is they weren't always like this but some thing, or maybe a few things, didn't go their way in life and they can't see anything but negativity now. It's even worse when they have an enabling friend. You know the one, that loser who doesn't have anything better to do themselves then to fuel the fire! It's so sad really.

Misery is an emotion, plain and simple, and if this emotion is allowed to stick around it begins to change a person. It doesn't have to be that way. Misery is not an ailment, it's not a tangible thing. It's as simple to beat as "seeing the brighter side" and at times even learning from the miserable experience.

I know a few miserable people, unfortunately I work with a few too, and one thing that seems common is they all have this "woe is me" attitude. They take zero responsibility for living in misery. They always find someone else or some place to blame.

Let's look at a miserable person just in case you aren't sure if you are in the company of misery.
*They will find something wrong with EVERYTHING!
*They are rarely appreciative of anything!
*They LOVE to argue with you but they don't see it as arguing because of course that would mean they had to really see themselves the way others do.
*They MUST have the last word!
*On social media sites, when everyone else is posting positive and happy posts Misery is the one who posts something ugly and negative.
*The one who always complains about being sick.
*The one who hides behind faith (a.k.a. the hypocritical Christian) - because a true christian would not conduct themselves in such an appalling manner.
*The one who grasps at straws to 'beat you down' because, let's face it, your success upsets them.

How many of you read the above bullets, shaking your head yes the entire time? Probably most of you - even if you are misery because another aspect of this is the irony that misery is sooooooooo miserable they are in denial. They can't see what they have become.

So, how do you make sure you don't become Misery's company? Here are a few tips:
√ When someone tries to rain on your parade, ask yourself why they are so miserable. Have compassion for the poor soul, then run like hell in the other direction. Misery is never a friend!!
√ If someone tries to bring you down, force yourself to see the brighter side and be sure to verbalize that brighter side to Misery.
√ Avoid arguing with Misery. No matter how ignorant Misery is, misery will never admit to it so there is no point in relinquishing your emotional intelligence to such folk.

A few real life examples:
Misery - usually misery has been through some rough patches in life. They get married numerous times only to be alone again. They think they keep picking the wrong person rather than realizing they are the cause. When they finally do find the love of their life, they can't appreciate it because they are miserable people and accepting love would allow happiness in. They have some health issues. Instead of fighting like a warrior and realizing positivity and strength of mind will help them get thru it, they complain about it not being fair, why me, how am I supposed to overcome this.

As opposed to someone who is not misery:
They've also been through some tough patches in life but instead of letting it take over, they see it as a life challenge or lesson that has made them a better version of themselves.
They see multiple marriages as a learning curve, they were just learning what they didn't want so when the right one came along they were able to appreciate all the wonderful things the person brings to their lives together.
They are suffering from a terrible disease but they never complain about it. They hide their pain and suffering so others don't worry. They see every small improvement as a 'win' instead of focusing on the what they still have to overcome.

I think you guys get it by now. Don't let Misery be your company & watch out for those enablers. They are evil people feeding such negativity. See those enablers need someone to be or feel smaller than them. It feeds their ridiculous need to spark misery in others so they can feel "better than" someone else. They are truly miserable as well but they are so high and mighty they will never realize it. Enablers are also not friends!

If you thought of some people you know that fit the misery mold, run, run, run. You won't change them and they are not a very good person or friend. You won't be missing them. If it's a family member then try to help them see the good in their lives but be careful not to get sucked into their miserable existence. I am thankful for all the trials and tribulations I've experienced in life so far. I am a much better person today for having gone through them. Without the mistakes of my past, I would not be where I am today. Today I am someone who loves my life. Sure, there are things I am working to change, but that's just it..I am working to change them and will be an even better person than I am today. Misery was always a better person "then" not "now".